I can't even see, if this is really me, and I just wanna be, alive...

Is Graduation over yet?

Can I stop pretending like I'm going to miss the preppy kids and the cheerleaders who have done nothing but abandon what used to be friendships, just because they grew higher on the 'social scale?'

Because, I'm sick of it. I'm tired, I'm emotinally drained from crying because I'll miss the people who actually gave a fuck and didn't look at me on the surface and think 'well that's it.'

I want to stop. No more marching pratice. No more getting up earlier than ten AM. No more Brewer High School.

I don't want to go to prom anymore. I don't want to go to Project Graduation. I don't want to go to the Senior Banquet. Really, I don't even want to go to Graduation.

But, I'll go to Prom, because Joe talked me into it.

I'll go to Project Graduation, because I don't want Robbie to spend the entire night singing Kareoke on his own.

I'll go to the Senior Banquet, put on a smile, and pretend like I'll actually miss Dan Butera, just so long as he doesn't feel like coming in physical contact with me. Then, I will be physically sick.

And I'll go to Graduation, and I'll march, and cry with others, and get my diploma, and we'll all laugh and have good cheer. And then, It will be over. And I'll never have to go through this again.

...Until I graduate from College, of course.

....I'm tired. I want to stay up late. I want to RP again. But I've got no time to RP. Because I have Graduation stuff to attend to.

Tomorrow, Michelle and I are going shopping. The only highlight of this endevor is I plan to hunt down and purchase Ultraviolet DVD. Thats it. The rest of the stuff I'll be suffering through, is finding a prom dress, then a dress for the Banquet, then a dress for Graduation. Three dresses. Oh joy. Oh rapture. THEN I have to get shoes, and accessories. Fuuck.

After that, is the dinner. I don't know when that's getting done. And then, Friday..... I have a hair appointment at one, and then I have to get ready for prom. Which will go to eleven.

...Saturday, the girls and I are getting together to decorate our graduation hats.

.....Sunday, is Graduation. Then Project Graduation.

.....Monday, is the Music Banquet.

.....and Tuesday, its all over and done with.


...........Anyone who needs me for RP, you're going to have to wait. My life, is the suck right now.

....On a lighter note happy birthday knitmeapony. I'll make you something shiny, but you'll probably have to wait a few days. Real life is currently kicking my ass. I love you anyway though dearie. *Snugs* Hope you have a goodun.

...And with that, I either stare blankly at the computer screen, or go crawl into bed, for those precious few hours of unconciousness.