An innocent soul is quietly contemplating.

[zombieproof]

Sometimes it feels like I'm doing things to make everyone else happy. Go to college right away to make Father happy. Clean my room out to make Stepmother happy. Keep out of brother and sister hair so that they're happier without me there to burden them.

I want people to be happy. I want to see them smile, and feel like I've accomplished something. I know I'm smiling too....but for what? Their happiness? Am I happy? Or have I just become so good at pushing my own feelings aside, that I just don't have them anymore, and I'm attracting some empath spirit?

I don't know. My feelings have never been something I've understood. 'Girls are complicated.' Yeah. The fuck they are. Espically if I can't figure out my own feelings.

Ugh. I don't want to go through this discovering myself shit all over again. I already angsted all through High School. Now college wants me to rediscover myself? Great. Fucking great.

Comments

[wrong.livejournal.com]

Oh, there are some people who are genuinely happy because they have discovered the secret to happiness. *nods nods* I'm not really kidding. It's just that this secret is really difficult to realise.

[offensive.livejournal.com]

...I think the secret is good grades. Because I tend to get psycotically happy and wear pink when I get good grades. o__O

[wrong.livejournal.com]

Well, and that too, I suppose. I was thinking of another secret. Besides, we're not going to study for the rest of our lives. Life isn't that easy.