zombieproof | (no subject)

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Neighbor's dogs are barking.

Loooooooks like we're gearing up for another wave. Seems like downtown has been gutted, god knows how the electricity's still on. the zombies are starting to head out here, to the outskirts, but there's a lot of fortification down the street, not to mention huge fucking hill.

Still, the stronghold is prepped, just in case, and it's entirely likely that we may have to flee.

Sounds like the Rescue choppers are taking off.

Figures that they decide to get the people who are already frigging sick out before getting the healthy people out.

Whatever.

Also, for those of you who seem to think this is all an unfunny joke? SCREW YOU, PEOPLE DIE FROM ZOMBIES EVERY DAY. WE ARE FACING THE MOTHERFUCKING APOCALYPSE. MY FRIENDS, ARE DYING.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH IT'S GOING TO SUCK IN A YEAR WHEN THERE ARE DEAD BODIES EVERYWHERE AND NO TOILET PAPER?

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RUUUUUUUUUN.

GET TO HIGH GROUND THEY CAN'T CLIMB.

MY

FUCKING

LEGS

...WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LOCKED IN THE CLOSET RIGHT NOW?

YOU COULD AT LEAST LET ME DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH OR SOMETHING

ANYTHING BUT THIS

I NEED THE RUM.

dude, we can just use leaves.

if we get out alive.

DO YOU WANT A STEP-BY-STEP PLAN AS TO HOW TO MAKE THINGS INTO TOILET PAPER?

VAAAAAAAAAR

so damn cruel T_T

NO.

AND I DON'T LIKE USING LEAVES, ALISON. I HAVE "ROUGHED IT" BEFORE AND I LIKE MY TWO-PLY FLUFFY CHARMIN THANK YOU.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE WORRIED ABOUT TOILET PAPER WHEN I'M IN IMMEDIATE FUCKING DANGER OF FUCKING DYING

SEE WHAT I MEAN? FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE AGREEING WITH ME ABOUT THE TOILET PAPER.

Says I, share the damn back seat with the 2ply. Says them "but I want to drive shotgun and get a rifle." Says I, the damn paper is soft and I'm not wasting bullets on giving you one."

I'M SORRY BUT YOU'LL BE DEAD IN A FEW HOURS, AND THAT'S JUST A WASTE OF RUM.

I CAN THROW YOU OUTSIDE TO FIGHT THE ZOMBIES IF YOU WANT? GO OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY LIKE IN THE MOVIES?

A year, nay, a month from now you will regret that sir. Toilet paper will be like GOLD.

Well, I doubt the zombies will use all the toilet paper. We can go on a roadtrip to collect it all.

Also

George Bush don't care about no zombie survivors. =(

I will worry about affording toilet paper when I can think about not being eaten long enough to worry about my bank account, Kai. D:

Laura Bush will probably tell us we're lucky to have this population control. :(

......

DEAL :]

then we can sell it to people for non-dented canned goods.

while keeping much of it for ourselves.

OKAY BUT IF YOU BITE ME I AM SHOOTING YOU IN THE FACE.

OH COME ON JUST SHOVE ME OUT THE WINDOW

... and give me a baseball bat or something

I'm pretty sure once they're all dead I'll still be hopped up enough on adrenaline to steal enough toilet paper to last years from the grocery stores.

well duh you can't fight the hoardes and go out with a blaze of glory without a weapon.

a FLAMING baseball bat 8]

Can totally light it on fire.

Also I hope you like Bon Jovi because I am totally going to be blasting Blaze of Glory now.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA 8]

God this would be the most badass movie sequence ever.

The legless girl with the flaming baseball bat flying out the window to pwn zombies with Blaze of Glory in the background, laughing her head off?

Someone draw that plz.

Dude, you have no idea how depressed I was when I found out I missed this.

Why was I not on the internets learning of blog about the zombapocalypse day? I was getting things ready for a zombie party.

IRONY SUCKS SO HARD.

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